Shopping
WOMEN can’t read maps apparently but at least we can shop, and at this time of year I know what’s more important. Women don’t leave all our Christmas shopping until after work on Christmas Eve like our male counterparts. Unscrupulous sales assistants on Christmas Eve can totally clean up with such men.
Unscrupulous Assistant, “I’ve sold out of most things I’m afraid.”
Male Counterpart, “What have got, you must have something?”
UA, “Well… I have these old tights, I was going to use them for work next week but you can have them.”
MC, “Great I’ll have them, how much?”
UA, “Erm… €40”
MC, “Can you gift wrap it?”
Men will buy you anything on Christmas Eve, especially if it fulfils two criteria, will you use it and is it practical. But this is a mistake, no girl wants practical for a gift. We use tons of practical things every day, we do not want them for presents. My father actually bought me a plastic loo brush for a present many years ago and could not understand why I wasn’t delighted with it, he was as pleased as punch. His thinking was, single girl, just moved into a new flat, loo brush, ideal present. A few Christmas’s ago my husband bought me a 14 inch plasma screen for my computer, he thought it was massively thoughtful. It came in a gorgeous big box, all wrapped up. I liked the box, woman love boxes, but boxes are like loo brushes here, we prefer to buy our own. I tried to fake delight at the contents of the box but I think he realised his mistake after he was frog marched down to the perfume counter at Brown Thomas’s for a Lancôme gift set. Possibly the worlds worst gift giver is the legend of a man in the garage on Christmas Eve getting a gallon of engine oil gift wrapped.
Never have the fundamental differences between men and women been so prevalent than when it comes to Christmas shopping. Women plan, they make lists, we go out on scouting missions as early as October. Christmas for mothers and wives are weeks and months in the planning. Imagine after all that, shopping, wrapping and cooking, your lovely wife gets up on Christmas morning and having spent a tremendous effort to get beautiful gifts for everyone, including your family, she opens with expectation the silvery wrapper and finds a gallon of Castrol oil and a pair of tights. No wonder relationship counsellors are so busy in January.
A fundamental tip to men here is to ask different questions, not ‘is it practical and will she use it?’ Ask ‘is it beautiful? Will she love it?’ We love luxurious items that we wouldn’t buy for ourselves, and will probably hardly ever use, but we feel enriched because we have it, especially if it comes in a nice box. Most things in a decorative box are going to be good gifts. Designer perfume with bubble bath or body lotion presented in a gift box is good. Silk negligee, presented in a box covered in enticing, crinkling tissue paper, might never wear it, love having it. We love top of the range make –up, the best money can buy. Dior, Chanel, Lancôme, stick with the classics here, and go for bold colours, even if she normally wears little make-up or neutral colours, we’d all love to have Chanel’s Ruby red lipstick in our make-up box. And it doesn’t have to be expensive, as long as it’s the best. Chocolates do not come with a grocery store brand name, but should be the best truffles or Swiss chocolate you can find. Bubble bath is not an expensive gift, but we love it. However we do not want the everyday kind, but something extravagant like Benefits’ ‘Getting Steamy’ s or a big bottle of Badedas at the very least.
As much as we enjoy luxury we also love thoughtfulness, we like to know our man knows where we’re at and what we need, and that normally amounts to giving us some attention. Think about what she is like and tailor the gift to her. Think about how she spends her time and what she enjoys? Where does she like to go on a night out? Is she red hot and dying to dance the night away or is she quieter and more gentle, preferring a movie or good book. For the dancing queen tickets to a great night spot for News Year Eve, perhaps wrapped around a bottle of bubbly would make an ideal gift. An annual cinema pass would delight the movie buff who enjoys a good story, wrapped up with a new good book. Find out what she is reading and ask for help at the book shop to find something similar she’d enjoy. For the busy Mum or hard working girl give a promise of time alone together, wrapped up in a pretty box, containing a romantic CD, bottle of wine and scented massage oil with a romantic note telling her why she is important to you and how you’re going to arrange some time for just the two of you.
Perhaps down time together is not what she needs if she already spends a lot of time alone or the children have left home. Perhaps what she’d really like is a day out with the grandchildren. You could frame one of her favourite pictures of the grandchildren and wrap it up with tickets to see a theatre show, or a trip to the zoo, the aquarium or just a card with a dinner reservations at her favourite place. You’ll have an idea of what she enjoys. Ultimately what women want is to be seen and heard, and to know they matter to you. Christmas is nothing if not an opportunity to show them that you care.